i'm illegal

started in 2004, as i lost my wallet with some cards in it. among those cards including the crucial one, my residential card which stated that i truly am indonesian and live in indonesia. at first i wasnt realize how important that card to me for the next few years, but today as i tried to apply for a new bank account, i was rejected. damn. that's because i dont have a resident card, although ive asked them if i can use my driving licese-- well, that's an id too hehheheh--- but it's not allowed.. whoaaaaaa... ive been looking forward to this , to have a new bank account so i'd be able to save my money in the right place..
god i really hate bureaucracy here,,, to make a renewed id card it'd take complicated ways and not in short time.. first i gotta go back to my home city, and that sux.. coz, i would just deal with guys in charge to sign some form needed as application.. and i'd also deal with some uncertainties if the guys will be there.according to my experience, some government officers are lack of discipline in attendance, sometimes they dont even come to the office,,, in the old days, to get the id proccessing runs quicker than it used to b, people are willing to pay some extra money, yeah some kinda bribery.....i'm not sure if it's still possible these days...i probably will do it if i can hehehehe... dont wanna waste my time anyways

did it..

finally, i get to pass the so called seminar ***siiiiggggghhhhhh*** i think it was sssooo more into a discussion than a seminar... the teachers were late, as usual but i really appreciate their attendance though hehehhehhe.... the senior one was superseded by other teacher who i was quite intended at first hahhahahaa.... coz the senior whom not other than the dean of the faculty is super duper busy yea watever...... in that discussion room i found no tension at all, i was loosen up hehhe.... so far different than wat ive imagined before!!! i did rehearsal again today myself but it turned out that everything's ok!!!!!!!!! i talked frequently hehhehe now i believe that practice makes perfect...... they gave me good opinion and supportive suggestion to write my paper..... now i gotta really focus on it, that paper,,, i betcha make my own due yea.... hhhmmmmmm 2 months seems ok i guess.. whoaaaa run for it babe!!!!!!!!!....... im so tired just now.....need some sleeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppp....ccccccciiaaaaooooo

wat's news?

1. i've got a tv now in my room hehhehe : got it from a graduate friend who's about to go back home soon to other island of the country.he sold it for only 200.000 rupiahs!!!!!! super cheap!!!!! and the tv works well... my room laid on the corner of the row and ive got more ventilation than the previous room----oh ya, the room is kinda new as well which none other than the vacant room nextdoor hehheheh... ----and for that, the antenna receiver could receive the wave from my favorite channels which my board house's or other tvs in other girls' rooms couldnt!!!!! called Metro tv, whoaaa lucky me!!!!!! mine is the only one!!!!so i can see oprah show in it yeaaahh actually my intention was to make noise instead of to fulfill a tv addiction, i rarely watch tv anyways, it's just i need some noise in my room and a bit of entertainment, the audio visual one!!!!!! im getting bored of the laptop and sound system haahhaha... in fact those two were already noisy enough but i'm just craved for moooooooorrrrrreeeeeee whoaa
2. tomorrow is gonnabe the battle day for my intelligence: i will face three tester teachers at a time in order to do presentation about wat i'd write!!!!! and it is a must... couldnt postpone it if i want to get graduated ASAP!!!!!! god, im nervous!! ive done something which i wish could overcome it, today i met my friends and doing rehearsal with them!!!!!!! hahhaah as if they were my teachers! theyve graduated thios month so i expected they would give me some suggestion or just asking question that surely would help!!!!!! i really thank them for that hehehheh 3. i skipped fasting!!!!! been three days hehhehe, not proud for the first, coz i did it deliberately!!!!! but for the rest two, they are accident, u know period!!!!! hahhahhaah.. and it supposed to last for the next 6 days maybeeee hehheh.... but it sucks.. meaning that i have to pay for more after this fasting month's finished whoaaaaa consequence!!!!!!

Hand In My Pocket

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah

I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah

I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly, baby

I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty, baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
But I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano

What it all comes down to my friends, yeah
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

skipping exercise

the commitment is broken!!!!!!! ive officially skipped working out for 5 days in a row whoaaaaa c'mon will power show up:-s so today i just revised my paper proposal and tomorrow is gonnabe it.... i'll notice whether i could go to the next step or make everything over again.. sssshhhh ....some friends are going to bali tomorrow nite , man i bet it must be lots of fun over there..... *looking forward to my own vacation*----which really long way to go and time to reach hehhee, gotta finish my priority but it feels harder without a strong will power...god, i miss my boyfriend.....--da!!!
(((((at the moment))))))) just finished downloading WINAMP coz the old one was a total wreck...just like my recent mind condition..

fasssssssssstttttttttttttttttt

second day of holy fasting month hehehe feels good, though still a bit sleepy hehehhehe...... was trying to get up early at the dawn 3 am.... my alarm this time worked really well coz i used to wreck the old ones hehhehe sometimes i think ive set the time right but apparently it wasnt, i had no clue wat's wrong with the old days' alarms, maybe they set their own time or didnt take any command from a sloth owner like me whoahahahhaaaaaa.......good side about this month is that i dont have to wait to use some cardio tools at the gym heehhe..... sometimes they use it selfishly get themselves unnoticed about others' existence who also pay to work out hahahhaaaa...... yea i keep going to the gym, at least at the first day of the month heehe..... dont know wat happens today and for next, hope i still got some energy to sweat myself out

a real strive begins

yeh, my final paper's proposal has been approved by the department and now i must proceed it up to the end of the story whoahahhahaa... sounds convincing yea hahhaha.... well, i deemed this little achievement as a breakthrough regarding my last proposal was rejected hehehehe....... now the teacher has set a deadline for me to finish the first chapter and it's only one week!!!!!! hmmmm today's supposed to be it but apparently i havent done yet hehehe..... it still needs a bit finishing touch,, god, i hope i can pass this one so i can just continue to do the latter task hehehe...... sooner is better i guess.. aight maybe i got a lil bit intimidated by a friend who has passed all of the final paper shit by this monday--two days ago!!!!!! meaning that she's graduated...... whoaaaaa she won the earliest graduate of my year, mann i reckon it awesome!!!!! she deserves it anyway, i believe she worked hard for it and that's just wat i need to at the moment *luck rani luck* Gott sei Dank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im backkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!

Yay, kkn’s over!!!!!! I was officially back to Jogja at August 31^st,,, I was craving to write ever since but turned out I was too sluggish even to get outta my room hehheheh I spent these past two days watching movies hehehe…….overall, kkn was quite fun but as we’re bak here, I began to receive dodgy smses from that village people, god dammit!!!!! Here comes the real human nature, perv!!!!!!! I thought they were shy and humble youth!Some of its youngsters keep making prank calls,and shitty sms!! I really don’t like the situation, I don’t get it wat their intention is, annoying I guess! Who the hell gave my number to them anyways L enough with it though, I wont change my number this time,nor answer such anonymous calls.. by the way.. I went to Uni today and I found nobody in it hehheheh,,, I mean somebody I know.. only few people familiar..but the rest are just freshmen, so I plan to make up my life after KKN which is to start writing final paper.. I realize that now im already in senior year and just don't wanna waste my time in it.. I could be left behind if I do so.. now I can feel the previous seniors’ feelings in waiting the teacher to come to at least listen to their idea, and if lucky would sign the abstract of each chapter they had written whoaaaaaaaaaa…… I really feel it just today.. I went early from home, at 9—well, I guess it wasn’t earlier, coz I know teachers don’t come earlier than that unless they got a class to teach--- but guess wat ive got none in the teacher’s room!!!! Damn.. luckily I met a friend and we chitchatted a little while until a teacher I didn’t even expect come right up( 20 minutes later), then I hit the uni library and got more obnoxious by the fact that the internet connection was taking forever and ever!!!!!!! Afterwards I decided to go back to find the targeted teacher, and told by a friend that he was just in few minutes ago before he went out later whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sniff sniff.. It’s the first time I wanted to meet him so much to hand him my paper plan, God!! I gotta keep passionate and calm.. now im in the middle of waiting for him until 12 -1 pm which gonnabe his next class, wish to meet him today before the sluggish part of me emerge back haahhahah…….

kiddo!!!!!!

just finished teaching english at local primary skool....... ok i admit it, those children's moods are really unexpectable.. last week, the class i thought would be disaster remained well.. in sum, my last week's teaching was exciting.. but today, i found another jerk crowd!!!!!actually this class used to be a good class but today it went all upside down.. every week i teach three classes consists of 4th, 5th, and 6th grader...5th grader used to be the most "full of chaos" one, but they have been changed into a calmer one by these past two weeks.... now the sixth grader has turned into little bastards... hahhahha im being mean here, well although not all of them but a small crowd..i was just ignore them afterall..last but definitely not least is 4th graders, "the ay ay sayer" hhahhaha they're good..this experience has gotten me some flashbak to my little child of age...i was soo naughty as well and i have made my teacher angry sometimes now it all just bak to me hahhhaa think i got the karma.. here comes me with great appreciation of wat my teachers has done to me so i can write this thing here and now hahahaaaaaaa god, hope my future children would be nice ones

3 weeks to go

now im in the middle of the rush and passion..... rush because, i still got three programs left for my kkn and i only got three weeks to get em done but officially, all those must be wrapped in this month's 14th... yipeeee... means i'll have more time breathing afterwards hehheheh exactly before the uni take us bak to jogja in 31st which i cant wait.. i cant wait to freely see my boyfriend whoaaahahhahhah.. i also cant wait to feel my own room and water in the bathroom which i can use unlimitedly hahhahha.......the hardest one is that i cant wait to get my final paper started!!!! passion, i have to do them carefully so everything will be done well, and i cannot be unorganized , some friend told me that i always get panicked days before my program due, which at the end everything was running quite OK hehehheheh

i found an internet cafeee heeeeerrrrreeeee!!!!

wwwwhhhhhoooaaaa, this morning i planned to flee out of village where im in charge for my KKN
and here i am now few kilos away out of it , so here it is small town called " wates"... and indeed it really is a small town..... lucky us..... we found internet cafe here hehhehheheh...... it's not bad..... like the ones in jogja!!!!! but as we asked the local residents, they always pointed at this place so i bet it's the one and only in town hehehhehhehe...... hell with it..... im just excited to get in a bit higher civilisation again hehehhee im just being mean here..... aight just regard it as the first euphoria of mine, afterall ive got used to live in a village, and it's not so bad actually..... coz i could get fresher air and i feel my soul relieved there......(boooooo) hahhahhahaha.... so at the spare time, i tried to recapitulate wat ive been doing every single day on my first week in KKN. but apparently i wasnt so commited to write my daily activities...... there are only few days of the week instead of "every single day" hehhehehe, but it doesnt matter...... and i got some picture of em anywayz.. heheee the first picture was taken in a wrecked ceremony held by uni as it released the students to get off for KKN hheheehhe...... the ceremony was a piece of shit i guess...... not much necessity ive got out of it hahhaha i even doubt it if it could be called as "ceremony" hhahhahhaha it's more like a freakin crowds!!!! yea watever...... here are the pics....

Day 1^st:

We went from jogja at 8.30 and we got some plan re arranged regarding how plenty the goodies are that we all brought up!!!!!!! I myself decided to hitchhike a mate who rides a motorbike along, and too bad that I forgot to bring a helmet with me hehehhehee luckily the rider got two helmets, hhahahaa wat a nice prep!! Btw that’s not the only thing I forgot, actually I was asked to bring a roll of an electrical plug, I know that’s fatal, but another friend had two already hahhahhaa,, lucky us, clumsy me……..well, I was trying to get on time on the spot where we were supposed to be off from, while the rest of the kids aren’t hehhehhehe dat’s the consequence I guess ahhahahaha, tricky me….. anyway, here I am now in the middle of nowhere hahahhaha…… kidding ,

We live in a house of the chief’s and the room where the girls live is very modest but I find it OK, it doesn’t matter for us to live here, instead we are really grateful that we are allowed to hehehee…. On our way here, I found some amazing views along the road, I saw some locals walking without any shoes on while it was damn hot out there, I swear….. I was just WOWing them myself….. well, as we got here this afternoon, my only problem is how to get along with localities…. Well, maybe that’s common for everybody considering it really is my first time being here, and I have to remind myself that I’d be here for the next two months!!!!!!!!! OK , honestly that is my real problem, it really shows as me and my unit mates met and greeted the locals, we were very very nervous as in wasting most times quiet!!!!!!!! Shit man, we only spoke out as they asked us questions!!! Shame on us I admit it…… I don’t know if the rest of them felt it but I did….. wat makes it worse is that this situation gets me lost and wondering if I could get any program plans relevant with the condition of the local residents… dammit…. I desperately need COMMUNICATION to figure out else’s needs…… man,I wish myself all best of luck here…….

Day 4^th

I bet we’ve got used to live here already, things are getting better than the first day only one is not, the temperature. it’s getting colder and colder everynite, and two nites ago I froze my ass off!!! I was breathing smokes, it wasn’t like we live in Indonesia hhahhahhaa……. So last nite I did a well preparation for everything. I wore a pair of socks, a long thick training pants, a double layer of shirt and a thick jumper, at last but not least, a damn thick blanket!!!!!! Haahahha, and I guess it works…….. I had a very nice sleep;;;;;;then I woke up very early in the morning to do pray, then did shower afterwards hehehehee…….also, I think this experience gave me more time to do a simplest but healthy exercise, Walking!!!!! Yea, we do walking more often here to get to another place, wat makes it healthier is we got no pollution here!!!!!!!! Yippeeee……. We really live in nature… only few people own a motorbike here, and they don’t bother us with a filthy gas heheheee…around us is only jungle and pathways and I can feel the fresher air here….. on the other hand, we’re provided by healthier food as well….. we got more vegetables and fruit as our meal hhehehee…. By that I don’t need to spend more money on food as usual hehehehee……….our relations with the locals are getting better than before….. they could recognize us at hand and I think they understand wat we’re trying to do here….. by doing more interaction, I myself come up with ideas about wat program I should make……. Now im in effort finishing my proposal for a newspaper company in jogja to make em give us aids by contributing their daily paper in here as to socialize how important newspapers are for locals to get infos from outside and to stimulate them to read……the other program I plan to do is to play documentary films, the simple ones of course, ive got this movie about last year’s massive earthquake disaster and it won last year’s doc.film festival which I happened taken part in it as a volunteer committee. I believe this would encourage ones who see it to make an opinion,and it’s good to incorporate those opinions in a small kinda discussion after wards hhehehhehe……..the last program I plan to make is to spread flyers about dengue fever issues……. The idea came up as I was hit by these damn mosquitos as I fallen asleep on my first day here……. Besides, i can see millions of mosquitos’ fetus inside the bathtub where I live in!!!!! dammit….. no wonder it’s a heaven for mosquitos….

Well i just wish my self all best of luck in doing all those…… I cant wait to get the programs done so I can go on with my life as we send bak to jogja and I can focus on something else which is not less important, FINAL PAPER!!!!!!! Whooooooaaaaaaaaa…..i just cant wait to do it and to see my boyfriend soon…… I miss him sooo bad………

Day 5th

We went nowhere today, actually me and a mate planned to ditch few hours to go back to jogja but it’s all knocked off……. Our teacher came by all of a sudden and it was unpredictable….well there’s a brightside of it, we could asked her questions about the running of programs…… afterall, we spent most times today at home doing this piece of program design report which I haven’t done yet up to now hahhahaha…… no wonder coz I was focusing my mind finishing a proposal for one of the damn programs----to a newspaper company---and luckily, it’s all done already……. By this time, I’ll try to finish my design report by tonite….. the due is on Sunday anyway, ….

Mann…… I have enough eaten today, I feel so stuffed, and I can feel my look gets messer day by day……. As I look at my self on a mirror,I see acnes growing on it whoaaaaaaa!!!!!! , yea nothing I can do though….. I just have to wait till I get bak to jogja, and feel the cleaner water as before hheehehhe……..at nite, as we are ran out of energy, a friend said, we got to visit another resident’s house to talk about his proposal to revive the masjid activity… whoa…. The girls looked soo tired and I bet I looked so sick hahahhaa………. Not again, please……. Ok so it has become routine for us everytime we visit one’s house in this village, that we are always been asked the brand same and old questions: “ where dya come from?”, dya know this person in yer city?---- hhahhahhaa, this one keeps me laugh,,,,, yea rite… as if only few man live in our home city hehehhee….. such a naïve………but I am quite understand now… I like that expression of those local people… however they welcome us very friendly I feel really blessed by that.. coz.. this afternoon, a friend from other unit of kkn, and whom plotted waaayyyyyyy farther than our place here, complaining about how bad the group organization is, how messed up their programs are, how not good the overall situations are including the local people… that’s all just fucked up!!!!!!!!gee, thanks god.. u put in in the rite place…… I feel sorry for him and the group though, I wish he could handle the problems soon, I just wish all the best for him , and I keep hoping the good thing for me too here hehhehe

3 days before i'm off for kkn, whoaa....... wondering how it's like over there,...... man, i hope i can survive hehehhehe......so this morning ,uni isn't as crowded as before, i bet most students are going home as the exams are finished last week.... or they might have vacation somewhere,, wat a nice imagination hhahahaa........i spent the last two days in my room, and that wasnt boring, regarding i'd leave it in few days heehehee..... last nite was unexpectedly raining and it sux, coz i was drenched and got sick at home .... it supposed to be dry season by these months!!!!!!

here goes.....

Yesterday I and khena went to the Festival Kesenian Yogyakarta (FKY) or Yogyakarta Art Festival, well I saw nothing much though hheehehhee I tend to call it as the resemblance of little Malioboro where they sell stuffs from details artcraft to the fine ones like painting…… well, the paintings surely differs it from malioboro!! But the rest was not more than malioboro ,,,,,, the price of the stuffs even higher than those in malioboro……but afterall I bought two stuffs there hhehehehe, they are thong/ sandal(actually i was confused about which one i should take coz both are cute!!!!) and a cheap compact wallet hehehhee I did ask some of the sellers there wat they think about this year’s FKY regarding few things from visitor’s rate to the participation of artists and they said

It is not as crowded as the previous years---they skipped the 2006’s FKY due to last year’s massive earthquake disaster around Jogja-- . the visitors aren’t as many as the previous year’s. well I bet it is coz it’s sooo obvious!! I can see only the committees who enjoy free live music there hahhahaa…….. I didn’t see many visitors’ euphoria……. That’s not all, some booths were also closed while the festival is still on!!!!!!!! I mean They didn’t sell their stuffs that day…

But overall, me and khena were quite enjoying our window shopping yesterday, seems that im quite lucky to hit it that day, coz the sellers said “one way to attract more visitors is to sell the stuffs cheaper than the day before’ hahhaaha so then I got this thong for only 25.000 rupiahs and a 3000 wallet hehhehhe

Afterwards, we hit malioboro to see if there’s any sling bag ----that really caught my EYES and got me drooled in FKY--- offered in cheaper price.. and SURPRISE!!!! We found it!!!!!!!!exactly the same!!!! they sell 30.000 in FKY and I just have to pay 25.000 in malioboro hehehehe, not bad……..

But u know wat, the setting is quite kool in FKY, they set this huge posters with attractive paintings, but I found only few installations there, nevertheless we did some photographs with em hehheehhe……

I always am interested with the place where they hold this event, it’s in Benteng Vredeburg( some old Dutch heritage fort)… it’s got its own sense of history whenever I get in there, although at nite the sense is more of spooky ones hehehhehheh but the design of the building is artful. It used to be a Dutch fort plus prison for indo rebel at that time.

whhoooooaaaaaaa finally the exam's weeks are over, and it's gottabe my last one. by next month i'll have a field study and work or watever it's called then afterwards is another battlefield for me......final paper!!! yea , the main prerequisite to get graduate..... man... i gotta start it from now, but actually im still kinda lost about wat to write hhehhehehhe... watever, i'd just spent the last week of this month just to have fun yea.... and i quite got it tonite, my mood is already enlightened, and ive got few movies to watch while sloth my self out---i made this word up myself---- hahahaa pfiuh.......

me and the girls of the boardhouse hehhehehe

laila and me are posed promoting some beverages but we didnt get paid for it hahahahahha just because we wanted to and it's stupid hhaahhahah nah, kidding we just didnt know wat to hold as we took these pics heehhehe

hahhahahahaha, i just laughed at my self for being such emo, whoaaaa
life is too good to feel bad but wat if yer good life is distracted by some jerks who inadvertently make it feels sooooo badddddd? i say move on and laugh at it hahahhahahha

sorrow

the weather today and the late few days are damn cloudy.... it's dark,,,,, i hate it...... maybe it affects my mood at hand, yea... i feel neglected by the one i love,but because of that feeling too.... i decided to take it all.... i think i gotta have more passion in me........

i got one day off before continuing my exam by tomorrow whoa, it's the last week of final exam.....which really gottabe my final one hehhehehe....... i'm quite relieve that ive passed the subject which i'm not into very much... the one with a killer teacher hahhahha..... it was last thursday ,,,, pfiuhhhhhh.... i dont care wat score im gonna get !!!!!!
by the way,few minutes ago i just got a message from my very very old friend.... that junior hiskool mate of mine hahahahhaa........ she noticed me finally.... man, i really wanna see her now as i get the chance to hit bandung again heehhe.......but im stuck here with craps..vacation seems so far to reach.....really look forward to it neways
wat? so is it me who feels sick of works or am i just being lazy? hhahaa watever it is vacation is like a dream for me now........ i got plans to do until the the end of the year so i could afford my graduation on time----GOD,if u're really there, bless me on that!!!!!!_____ well, i did a little analysis of my latest works...... and ive got a conclusion that if we do it simultaneously without a long skip, we'll get ourselves encouraged to finish it soon...... i mean,,, there's this kinda force inside ourselves to act on it, hhhmmmm perhaps the effect is different on everbody,
ok then i think im just starve my self here, gotta run to eat!!!!!!!!!!!

today i almost break my hand, as i keep writing for two exams..... bad, i bet this is the consequence of using computer more often than to do the hand write.... it's been months since i did hand write for last exam hehehehhe......ever since, i dealt with my keyboard everytime i'd like to write, or at least i did only scrap notes instead of academical writing..... whoaaaaaa.....since i was in primary skool, my hand writing was a total crap........ only few people could read it hehhehhehehh..... but when it comes to exam, i always tried my best in writing, but it only holds for first pages, afterall, it remains crap hehhhehe...... this condition continued until now.. maybee i was too focus in answering the questions rather than to concentrate and do a good hand writing,,,,, blah...... who cares though, as long as the answer is right i dont think that matters much hehhehheheh...... but i also got this warning from my teacher many many times,,,, they used to write their opinion bout my handwriting and ask me to do better next time,,,, but still it doesnt change anything hehhehe... but once i got badluck, i never know that this teacher cares so much about this kinda shit , i just felt that i never done something wrong and always hand her the assignments in due, but at the end i got C for the results of my hardwork in one semester!!!!!!! damn.... i figured out from my seniors that she hates my kinda handwriting, ....wat a pro!!!! now i feel grateful coz most of my assignments should be done in compie writing, that's good, i bet my teachers got their eyes fatigue by my handwriting heheehhe

gecko killer!!

so yeh, i didnt do it on purpose, yesterday i killed two poor geckos in a day, the first one was about 11 am. i saw this gecko on a bathroom floor with the body got upside down, actually i wonder how come... then i took a broom and tried to turn the body back, it didnt work!!!!!! so i just leave him there alone , few minutes later i come to check if it's alive, but it didnt move, so i reckon he's dead!! then i went bak to my room, but i couldnt stand to see him again just to make sure if it's really dead......and yes indeed it's dead!!!!!i'm sad though but wat comes next is contrary to wat i feel, i swept it outta the bathroom and go to a hot spot where we use to hang the laundry to dry....then i just left it there....... and i went outta the house to feed my self and everything, and when i came bak, the dead body was already surrounded by starving ants!!!!!!!!!1 eeeeeeewwwwhhh poor him.... and cruel me........
the second story happened at the nite, well mid nite exactly, i was kinda sleepy as i forced my self to get up to have a pee, as got into the bathroom i slam the door harshly and loudly, but i heard some little sound on downward, i saw this tiny creature stucked between the door and the wood , dammit man, another gecko!!!!so itried to open the door smoothly but it didnt work, his body hampers the door to open, then i pulled it hard to get the door opened, finally it workd, pfiuh, the gecko was unrecognizable anymore, his neck are cut and i can see a bit slimy fluid over his body, wat a lame...... i skipped using that bathroom afterwards and moved into the next bathroom. and this morning i heard one of the girls screaming out loud and it woke me up suddenly!!!!!! damn. she freaked out of the dead gecko,.......god, forgive me please................

apparently this whole week is kinda wasted.... yeh, i had lots of fun and just neglect other undone assignment, God!!! so tonite is gottabe another start......think im just procrastinating by running away from my routinity for awhile, damn, im not sorry though hehehe.....now im bak to be a last minute girl anyway. ok so i heard that israel had offered to give Golan Heights bak to Syria, hhhmmmmm sounds dodgy... as we know that all this time Golan is used by Israel to be its military base so israel could do the surveillance around middle east region, and as compensation, syria must cut off its relationship with Iran and contribution to any radical movement in mid east esp. those who fight israel,,, hhmmm such a prisoner's dilemma yea....syria is known as one of weapon suppliers for Hezbollah in last year war fighting Israel in Lebanon, and i once read in a US mag, that Assad--Syria's head of state--would never compromise with Israel's occupation of Palestine region.... hhmm i really wonder wat he'd decide about the latest Israel's offer.....sometimes we are faced with 'hard to refuse' choice and we're kinda floating whether to keep commit or just decommit our present stance. well, israel's interest is quite clear here, it feels threatened with iran's nuclear program which US also alarmed about. or else, israel is trying to wreck the present "alliance pattern" in mid east, whereas Syria is going along well with iran recently, not a bad strategy though, but is israel serious about the offer, apparently not really coz inside its parliamentary house had come up factionalism between those who agreed the repatriation of golan height and those who say no. it seems like olmert find no other way out to get his credibility back and face saved regarding israel's lost in last year lebanon war. he's been asked to resign by parliament and big part of israel's people anyways. and i bet, israelis would be so angry to lose some of its occupied region, poor olmert. also, i think syria won't just accept the offer and sacrifice its good relations with iran or quit contribute to any movements, besides, syria did it illegally and tacitly smuggled weapons to the movement, in the other hand, syria has always been denied its involvement in lebanon war of the israel's allegation that syria had contribute weapons to Hezbollah...... yea both sides are not innocent and syria's just following the path, making israel pay bak for wat it's done either in a clean or dirty way

dig it

how does it feel to meet a very very old friend? like finding a treasure!!! happened to me last week, i accidentally met my junior hiskool mate, and she was surprised to see me, well, i did too, and by that time i asked her about one of my bestfriends whom i never catchup since i graduated hiskool.......... i miss em!!!!! and i miss her as well..... and just today, i found her at friendster, and she changed a bit, mann i wish i could see her again hehehheheh.....by the way,this morning ive finished a paper which due is about one week to go eheheeheehe.... well, u may call me last minute girl but i rule this time haahhahaa........ i still got one paper to do neways..... it's gottabe my last semester before i'll strive to get graduated by writing a bunch of final paper whoaaaaaaaaaa.......hopefully i'd get there alive hehhehhee..... so now im sitting in a quite new cafe in town, and the menus taste CRAP, blah.......but the internet connection is not bad though hehhehe.... just like wat xeron said, anything could happen in a first trial hehehe....... apparently i did "hehehehe" a lot here , it supposed to mean that im happy, well am i? hhhhmmmm pretty much

there's nothing cooler than to sit and relax in the middle row right in the middle seat with no one on the right nor left sides inside the movie, wat a nice point of view that was!!!!........ i had it yesterday and i also didnt have to stand to cram in line to get a ticket....whoaaahahahhaahaa dat was a trick!!!! i came at the first play of the day, 11 AM hehheheh..... skipped my last class of the semester........ i was really alone, maybe to some others that'd be sux to hang around all by oneself, yea i know that is but not me!!!!!!!! yea, i kinda get used to it though but i found it kool, i was like a queen inside hahhahhaaa.... no child whining around, no giggles from upper rows hehehee...... [perfect!!!!!!!! i could just feel free to put my bag with tons of smuggled beverages in it on the next seat hehehee...... yea, it's true!!!!!!! it is forbidden to bring foods or drinks from outside the cinema, silly!!!!!!! actually it was my first to deal with this kinda rules, well, in a few other cinemas ive found no such silly rules anyways.... so yea.... it was 3rd"pirates of the carribean 's movie,,,,,, kool movie, im crazy about johny depp!!!!!!! his act is brilliant, i watched another movies of his as well, one of my fav. is "secret window" whereas he acted as a schizophrenic,,,, wow....heehhee

on a friend's roof

in the midst of 2 hours before my next class, the boring class in between the 1st and 2nd is skipped by the teacher, yippeeee.....hehhehhehehe ive just few minutes here but already feel bored, wat am i gonna do next in this sunny day to spend my next spare 1,5 hours? think i'll catch a becak and just hit a nearest mall and have an ice cream there.... mmmmhhhh yummy,,,,*drool*

Mannn I think I got my self brainwashed of sayyid Quthb’s thought….. I don’t know why but I think im started to kinda admire him!!!!! Whoaaaaaa……. Wat’s with me? Don’t u ever realize that by reading some other person thoughts and get our mind really focused in it we could just get carried away by his thought? I wonder how we can stand tough to our previous stance…. not that my mind is quite vulnerable but it must have anything to do with the brain mechanism hahhahhahaha boooorrrrriiinnnngg!!!!!!
well, today is real hot and still working on my paper T_T ...

perfect song for a perfect day

High school seemed like such a blur,
I didn't have much interest in sports or school elections.
And in class I dreamed all day, 'bout a rock 'n' roll weekend.

And the girl in the front of the room,
So close yet so far y'know she never seemed to notice,
That this silly school-boy crush wasn't just pretend.

Life goes by so fast, you only want to do what you think is right.
Close your eyes and then it's past - story of my life.
Story of my life.
Story of my life.
Story of my life.

And I went down to my old neighborhood,
The faces have all changed, there's no one left to talk to.
And the pool hall I loved as a kid is now a 7-11.

I went downtown to look for a job,
I had no training, no experience to speak of.
I looked at the holes in my jeans and turned and headed back.

Life goes by so fast, you only want to do what you think is right.
Close your eyes and then it's past - story of my life.
Story of my life.
Story of my life.
Story of my life.

Good times come and good times go,
I only wish the good times would last a little longer.
I think about the good times we had and why they had to end.

So I sit at the edge of my bed,
I strum my guitar and I sing an Outlaw love song.
Thinkin' bout what you're doin' now and when you're comin' back.

Life goes by so fast, you only want to do what you think is right.
Close your eyes and then it's past - story of my life.

Wat a beautiful morning!!!!!!

Today I woke up quite early coz I planned to hit the uni’s library which got AC inside plus hotspot with damn limited host. But as I got here---in another library with only some electric fans in it—that library was already fulled with postgrad. Students!!!!! Whoa I was late, I thought I wouldn’t be coz I come only 30 mins after it opened its door!! Now im stucked here again but no probs, actually the reason I go out earlier was to get my paper done here hehhehehhe….. now im full of spirit, way to go gal!!!! wat makes today perfect is the sun!! finally it shines after few cloudy days lately hehhehe…… but I was too hurry to get my clothes washed out and use the chance drying em under the sun, badd……

no longer stucked!!!!!

thank god these crappy dayoffs will be over in 14 hours from now!!!!! really miss the rushy times to get the assignment done rather than acting sloth during day off hehehehehehe..... dont know why but my spirit of working would get thrusted in a busy kinda athmosphere.... wherever im in this busy surrounding then i 'd force my self to do things which make me busy as well......weird though hahahahaa....now im occupied with a paper about this extremist pioneer Mr. Sayyid Quthb, he's a former leader of Ikhwanul Muslimin, an islamist movement from Egypt, it's kinda hard to find his either biography or picture on the internet, but his thoughts were believed has influenced osama bin laden to take his action ,,, whoa..... im kinda lost of how to proceed my paper, damn... i wish i could understood arabic..hahhahhaha wat has it to do with it? well, unfortunately the sources that ive got use kinda mixed language between english, indonesian and arabic hahahhaha luckily my boyfriend understands some of em, but still...btw since i joined this class of mideastern political movement, i get interested to know more about my religion... i admit it at first this religion is kinda offspring from one of my parents, and i just follow it...... but in fact there are heaps of probs inside the follower of islam esp. those live in arab land.. evidently, some of the political movement over there have been trying to subvert present gov't which got influenced by western country such as USA. they wanna get the gov't back to the shari'ah law. and for many many years of 20th century, some islamic thinker arised and tried to advice solutions for the problems. some of them are reformist regarding they've taken education in western countries as well, so their thoughts are kinda balanced islamic tenet and the present world situation, and some of the rest are tend to radically thoughts although once they also got some education in the west. one of them is Sayyid Quthb. he was hung to death in Nasser era in 1966. one of his controversial thoughts is about modern jahiliyyah(pre-islamic ignorance). he concluded todays muslim s are belonged to jahiliyyah people as they live modern kinda life. he also summarize that this sort of muslims dont know really well about their essence of religion, whoaaa am i belong to one of them.... maybe if he's alive now and i get to meet him, he'd point his finger on my face and say " u are jahiliyyah bitch" hahahahhahha...........damn , that would be soooo mean of him!!!!!!!!watever,, i just take the brightside of it,,, a curiousity has finally emerged on me, whoahahahah, curiosity to learn about al-qur'an, to prove if these thinker is right or wrong from my point of view.... aight now time to go back to studyyyyyy........*sick*

stucked

stucked in :
a). rains
b). love-hate relationships
c). orientation of life

wanna get out of here.........

faces of relieve souls hahahah

4 days off in a week!!!!!!

yippee as usual the gov't has prolonged a day off by this week, considering this friday lays in between a red date thursday and a weekend saturday hahahhahah.....it happens many times since the beginning of this year... a good chance to do vacation with family or friends but also as i used to be, alone and look for fun myself hehehhehe...... maybe our country has the most day offs in the world hahhahhaha....... sometimes it sux to not doing anything and just slothing around the bed... then i encouraged my self to get up earlier this morning and have my room cleaned up and get the dust off!!!!! hahahha i felt so relieve as i finished doing it,, actually cant remember when was the last time im cleaning it!!!!!! hehehheh now i believe that the atmosphere of cleanliness may affect our moods... btw i really miss the sunshine.. it's been real cloudy upon jogja for three days which is sux!! cant get the clothes off dried!!!! damn, i thought this month is supposed to be dry season since the weather was real hot in the earlier days...... until three nights ago as i got drenched by the rains..... whoaaa... unpredicted!! hey actually it feels kinda weird to not working at nite hehehhehe.... i miss it sometimes , gotta find cool things to do at nite then......watching movie has always enlighten me at nite hehehee sounds boring huh, i wish i could get outta this town for few days but it sux when u are poor in such long dayoffs hahahhah.....anyways, the picture above was taken at my last nite workin at the coffeeshop hehhehe, me with illa, and a half face of cumi, workmates ... will surely miss em

whoaaaa free time!! and jobless at last

finally, last nite was the last nite i work in kedaikopi whoaaa...... relieve plus sad..... coz it means im gonna miss my friends there sniffs!!!!!!it was a dynamic 10 months.....i dont know if im changed into a better one or stay the same... but at least i know wat others think of me..... i love my workmatesss

the chocolate milkshake i just sipped was a total crap!!!!!!damn.... well im here tonite one hour away from jogja and get stranded in "a reddish" restaurant with a weird atmosphere hahahhaha......... the waiters act like thugs, they sit next to the customers to take orders and dress like a punk hahahhaa funny though...... well, i got informed about this place by a friend whom i met in the train on my way here,,,, here's the city where my grandparents live.. and that friend recommended me this place if i'd like to get online.....i bet this place is a family customers oriented kinda restaurant as i can see at the moment , there are heaps of little kids with the parents and im the only one who is alone here T_T but it's ok hehehehehehh im a good friend with my self though hehehhehe im pretty glad that it's such a good evening here without rains, instead it was damn hot in the afternoon.......the city is not as crowded as jogja and it feels soo good that i can feel a bit "silence" even for a moment, it's like a backyard.... heehehe moreover this whole week has got my mind screwed with tons of assignments and problems, pfiuh....

shit really happens!!

Have u ever had a deadlock in yer mind as u are in front of public and it comes up for u to do a speech in a presentation while u did such a well preparation beforehand? Well I just did!!!!! Whoaaa my worst presentation of the semester!! I was like stung as the slide of the powerpoints pop up, didn’t know where to start……. The presentation was supposed to get started about 1,5 hour earlier, as me and group mates really ready, but the teacher didn’t stop talking and it was quite boooriing….we were like “ mann… let’s just get started!!” …. As the time comes I was totally petrified in front of the class, well, I was joking in front of em…. Thank god I got ur enlightenment about 2 minutes later….. then I could realize that I am alive and speak out fluently……whoaaa still it feels embarrassing!!! It was my worst!!, plus one of the group mates didn’t appear as he got sick and be treated in a hospital,,,, wat makes it wayyy worse is that nobody’s asking us a question in the Q&A session… it means nothing!!! Well, I’m not wondered ,, they might already get bored of the unstoppable speech our teacher gave us previously,,, some of em look sleepy as well……. I would be so if I were one of the audience.

maenche Mensch andern sich nie !!!

the movie is about three youngsters called themselves "the edukators" who are also anti capitalist activists, they sneaked into rich people's house at nite and redecorate the furnitures, so they got em screwed up... at the end of their actions they left a message to the owner about how fucked up they are with their wealth or else how bad the world is as the result of the existence of people like em!!! one message i like from this movie is "maenche Mensch andern sich nie" which means "some people dont change"... yea i guess that's right... everybody has a nature of wannabe more than others, more in everything...and it has become a human's character to enjoy a wellness he/she got without paying attention to the surroundings. well, i do though sometimes....it's only us who can limit our satisfaction level, people are proned to not want to be considered as weak by others, that's why they keep their position steady and committed to get themselves stronger than before. just dont get tricked of the change of someone's behavior which come in a short term towards us, they're still the same basically, they do "change" only for self saving,for their own interest, well i might sound skeptical, but ive been there done that hahahhaha it's the reason i didnt vote in the latest general election in this country... it's kinda ridiculous for some parties who keeps candidating people from the last authoritarian regime, once my teacher asked me who i voted that time and i just i said "abstain" hahhahha...... i just dont believe all craps they promised the constituents. those stupid politicians got money and they just want more,,,, why would i open a way for em to do that by my vote? hahhaha.... never...besides the states dont get us more more welfare, yeah at least in the state i live in....we get our welfare by our own efforts, and we still have to pay the state for a tax, and no development happens.. the environment remains crappy, flood comes every year, people in insulated areas are suffered in starvation........whoaa... no change happened after we pay taxes....ups.. nah, at least change happens in the politicians' bank account......

yesterday i had another espresso after such a while since i had it last time.... at first i was kinda "awaken" then few minutes later, whooaaa... my stomach feels like strangling!!!!!! damn... couldnt even stand up steadily..... yea... it hurts a lot, need a fresh air to breath in.... wat makes it worst was that i was at work!!!!!! i got 1,5 hours left so i can just run home.... shit man, it reminds me of my last typhoid symptoms thing. now i really have to watch my apetite, it sux when we cant just eat or drink wat we want, yea well, im not the one who had such gastric disorder caused by coffee, few friends of mine do so... nevertheless i dont think i would stop having cappucinno or other variants of espresso *naughty me*... all i have to do is just to get my self fed first before i have coffee... i only had a piece of meat yesterday so i figured it didnt help much hehehhehe.... i might have to get rice or something heavier first, whoaaa....gotta make myself stuffed up first heehehe btw this month gottabe the last month i work there, i surely gonna miss all mates. we've through bad and good times together. and i feel sorry for those who were willing to subs me everytime i skipped my work.. hahahhaa thanx a lot guys!!!!!! it was my first time working as a part timer in my life, and it has gotten me unforgettable experience!! how to deal with many characters of customers*well, i'm kinda jerk in this*, how to keep our moods good!?*well, i failed as well :-) *, how to get along with workmates *hhhmmm ,not bad* and many other things!!!! been 10 months and i feel grateful that i can through that heehhehehhe....i met many kinds of people and it gets me avenues to know and understand each character.... but the coolest thing of all is that i can operate the espresso machine esp. the semi automatic ones hehhehheh.... new skill on me!! well, it was really new and unfamiliar for me as i saw it first time but then right after my success in making my first cappucinno, whoaaa wanna try it for more hehehheheh...sometimes it's kinda lucky to get a nice foam, but i've found the art of it, so it's no longer difficult for me.. heehhe... but im always wondering how to make espresso with the automatic ones...man, i wish i had my own machine hheehhehe...

just run from my first class this morning and heading to the second class which i bet will be definitely and positively boring!!!!!!! the teacher always tell history which i dont think has any relations with the actual and contemporary subjects!! sucks!! well, im not the one reckons it this way, the whole class think the same!!! i wonder why is it us, the students who always follow the rule and just agree with the mechanism of the class or else with the way the teacher teach? yea right i might just being sceptical here.... but in my opinion, some senior teachers are trying to dominate in class.... well some are not... but just let's focus on some who does.....
every single week we spent onthis class, i never saw any entusiasm came out of my classmates' face... we always do something else on the class instead of listening hhahahaa.... once i joined one of classmates who sat beside me reading newspapers.. haaha,, yes we made a bit noise but it seemed that the teacher was totally preoccupied with wat he's doing: TALKING , then he other kids saw us and asked us to hand him and her the other page of the paper hahhaha..... well, on another occasion last week...i color my fingernails with a color pen hehhehehe...... while the other kids are chatting via bookpaper which was wrapped as compact as possible and they did the dialogue instead of listening to the teacher hhahahha.......another crazy thing was done by a friend who sat in the front row!!!!! he slept!!!!!!! tightly!!!!! with the head bent down,,, he looked like dead anyway hahahaa......... ok then, time to go to that class!!!!! actually the reason i went to the class and try not to get absent is that the teacher is soo procedural... and the students' attendance will affect the final score, damn.... now i better run off!!!!

FRENCH...

french fries.....yummy
french kiss......yummy too (hhahhahah)
french movie...... wat i like most....


yea... i always feel like to watch french movie, e.g : asterix, spanish apartment, russian dolls, amelie, love me if u dare, a very long engagement, anthony zimmer, he loves me he loves me not, etc


really excited to see AUDREY TAUTOU on the screen!!!! she's an incredible actress, she had played many characters and all looked so naturally on her!!

i am officially 21!!!!!!!! hehehehe welcome to the real world, run!!!

hhahahahaahahaa

Princess image for girls debated

NEW YORK, April 23 (UPI) --

The Cinderella phenomenon has been around for decades and UCLA child psychologist Dr. Mark DeAntonio said he thinks it's healthy.

"I think it's normal for kids to kind of fanaticize roles, to try them on for size," said DeAntonio. "And both boys and girls do this, and it's a very normal thing."

But some mothers are worried their daughters' self-esteem may be hurt by the plethora of princess products in stores, ABC News reported Monday.

"When you have 25,000 items beaming at your daughter every day, it stops being really a choice," said author Peggy Orenstein, who writes about women's issues.

She questions the affect of the perfect-looking princesses as role models for girls.

"It really is ultimately about looking pretty, and having a lot of stuff," she said. "And as somebody who studied body image, I really worry about what it's setting girls up for. Will the girl who is wearing 'Princess' across her chest when she's three be wearing 'Spoiled' across her chest when she's six, and 'Porn Star' when she is 12?"

Disney, which helped to popularize the trend, made $3 billion on the princess image last year.

by bravenet: on the sidebar of my blog

poor birthday girl

whoaaaa im broke in my upcoming birthday, TOMORROW!!!!!
wonder how it feels to be broke on ur 21st birthday? SUCKS!!!!!!dat's it hehhehee well, all i can do is to thank god that i'm still alive at the moment haahhahaa 21 years old resolution : do better treasury management!!!!!!!!!!mean it rani!!

hands up!!!!!!!!!!!

still refresh in our mind the murder in virginia tech..yesterday i read that it stimulates other american citizens to own their own gun or other kinda weapon. it is aimed to protect him/herself and the family.. the weapon selling rate has raised significantly by last week, yeah wat do we call this then? a culture!! now it has been a culture, to own a hand gun, well, i wish i had one too so i can just point it out to a pervert who tries to mess with me on the street hahhahhahahh....(just like i had yesterday!!!! it sucks!! screw em)
it's a prominence for weapon or military industry, they would dig benefits which are fortune!!!lucky them!! also they contribute great amount of income tax to the country by selling their stuff abroad. so it makes civilian independent of any military intervention in sustaining the security of whole nation. do american still need a military personnel then? yea of course they do in order to get themselves focused overseas, instead of their own countries. they play a role in other countries regarded as a threat to america... ha, still securitization!! seems like we wont find heaven in america hahahaha now it is no longer the monopoly of military to weapon usage, civilians are able to protect themselves, civil used to have a full control over military, it claims the professionalism of military. since there has been easy access to weaponry, i bet civilian has either easened or lightened one of the duties of military which is to protect domestic security. but hey, does having our own handgun means we are explicitly secured? i dont think so, rather it comes out of our insecurity feelings and being threatened all the time. as in security study it's called a threat to our existence. we make up things that we feel as threatening our existence, well maybe to some others, it is not a threat at all. contrary to japan which strengthening its strict policy in access to weapon after last assasination of its mayor. infact japan is a country with high number of gangs-yakuza-. also it has lots of stressed people commiting suicide per year!!.. maybe it tried to hamper deaths because the population is really going down by years, poor them anyway both countries are feeling insecured and seems like the problem solving is to harm self.
the world is never gonnabe safe as long as we keep feeling insecure and never enough of wat we have, why dont just let others do wat they feel rights and we have fun with ourselves rather than stressing out with other's stuffs. life is too short, but still i wish i had a handgun in my pocket hahahaa

The man with the flared messy hair called Nasirun. He is a famous painter in Indonesia, esp. Jogja. He’s got 10 houses in Jogja. I was in one of em with a Japanese friend to do an interview about a painting art last year. A man next to Nasirun is a curator. The house is huge and it’s got art works in every part of it. We were really surprised to know that he’s got another 9!!!!! He’s been around in many countries as well to do the exhibition. As we asked them how come he has many houses like that, he said it was the result of selling painting works. WOW!!! His paintings belong to the surrealism with traditional Javanese sense, i.e wayang. Most of em were painted in very big size. There are other well known artists in Jogja it self. As we know the image of an artist is like a bohemian , carefree, and perhaps away from establishment and wealthiness. Well, it was a first thought come up in my mind as I saw Nasirun and other artists. They keep being modest so far anyway. I think wat Nasirun does to provide himself and the family is a good way. All he has to do is just to express wat’s on his mind in painting or other artworks. He doesn’t have to deal with a legal employment contract shit, or any complicated works. Nor he has to keep waiting for ,say, a month or a week just to get paid. It’s koooollll…….i call it as a pure way to get money. By selling stuffs. In this case, paintings. All he’s got is a wild mind and an originality. It’s a “safe” kinda job!! Compared to those small brains pervert who did corruption to provide their own big belly!!! Nevertheless, this phenomenon of painting artists get themselves rich is quite controversial. the inspiration, motives, and all those abstract things are become questioned. Do they paint for money or is it because of a sole art feeling they got in their mind and heart. To speak in a reality, who does ever care of it though? Who does ever care of the money are gonna spend to? Who does ever care of one’s feeling and thought about artworks?no one could guess of any other people thought. Maybe the artist deserves it. The money they got for the enjoyment and excitement they create towards other people’s feeling. Afterall, the buyer gives their money voluntarily aight, without any force to do it.